We all make mistakes, and end up hurting those we love the most. This is why forgiveness is one of the key ingredients to a lasting relationship.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that your partner will never let you down, or that your relationships will always make you happy. It’s just not possible, nobody is that perfect, and no relationship is without its fair share of problems. This is why it’s important to learn the art of forgiveness. As a matter of fact, it is crucial to be able to forgive your partner for little misdeeds, while you focus on the bigger picture. However, in doing so, you don’t want to end up being over-forgiving. So the big question is, how do you know what is okay to let go, and what isn’t? Allow me to help you with that.
White lies can be forgiven, but don’t forgive lies that mislead
We all tell little white lies, don’t even try to deny it. You know that other time when you said you’d be down in 5 minutes, but only walked down 15 minutes later? Or that time when he said he was stuck in traffic when he actually forgot that he had to come pick you up? These, you can overlook in a relationship. When someone lies about their past, financial status and who they’re seeing or talking to, it’s a game changer. Those are misleading lies, and they can impact your life as well. We say don’t forgive those.
Unanswered calls can be forgiven, but don’t forgive unreturned calls
People have things to do and people to see. So you can forgive him for missing your calls, it all changes when the entire day goes by without them returning your call.
Forgive a slip, but don’t forgive an affair
This is a tough one, and I’m a bit on the fence with this one… Okay, here’s the deal. Sometimes people in a long-term relationship can find themselves being attracted to other people. What they do with about the attraction is a whole different story. Understand that an affair is a choice. Attraction is one thing, but if nurtured into a relationship, a person does this actively, and shouldn’t forgive.
Forgive confusion, but don’t forgive hypocrisy
Uncertainty and confusion are part and parcel of relationships, and it’s totally ok to feel this way. If you find that your S/O is confused or not sure about your relationship, let them journey through those emotions. Just make sure that you make your intentions clear. If they are not able to do the same for you, then that is just plain hypocrisy.
What is your take on the subject?
By: Thina Mthembu